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Friday 18th May 2012
Latest from Dot Commons
Writers have finished up seven new episodes of BBC sitcom The Thick of It. With Westminster looking more and more like the depressingly hyper-real programme, here’s Dot’s list of the ten events that would have had PM’s enforcer Malcolm Tucker shouting into the nearest BlackBerry.
1. Justine Greening ‘remodes’ her journey to work
2. George Osborne pretends to like Keane
3. David Cameron gets his money’s worth from a charity wristband
4. Russell Brand reminds a despondent Home Affairs committee that “time is infinite”
5. David Cameron signs his texts off “LOL”. LOL.
6. Clegg and Cameron desperately try to avoid a couple-shot at a joint press conference
7. Crawley Liberal Democrats accidentally fail to enter any candidates for the local elections
8. The Minister for Water breaks his own hosepipe ban
9. The Chancellor can’t remember the last time he ate a pasty
10. And the minister in charge of libraries thinks vast north African desert Morocco is smaller than the UK
UPDATE: Thanks to our Twitter followers for the flood of new suggestions. We've picked some of the best to make our top 10 a top 15:
11. Diane Abbott got a phone call from Ed Miliband half way through an interview, and picked it up live on air.
12. Jeremy Hunt was accidentally rechristened a very Naughtie word on the Today programme
13. Theresa May delivered a speech in front of a background that could have been picked by Ed Miliband himself.
14. Eric Joyce tried to cleanse the Strangers' Bar of Tories.
15. And the sitcom smashed through the fourth wall after the Budget, with the "omnishambles" narrative taking hold in all corners of the commentariat.
Presumably nobody even noticed the programme was off the air....