Thursday 2nd May 2013

Lib Dems – the boy band

A curious missive has been issued by the Lib Dems to their supporters which portrays the party’s top MPs as a boy band. No doubt aware that popular 90s popsters Five are in the middle of a nostalgia tour of the UK, the party's youth wing Liberal Youth has tortuously reworked the lyrics of the hit Keep On Moving to get their people phone bashing in the few remaining hours of the local elections. Dot does not think Danny Alexander is boy band material, but Jeremy Browne looks quite fetching. This evening Five, along with Atomic Kitten and Liberty X, will be rocking the Motorpoint Arena Sheffield.

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Thursday 2nd May 2013

The new Ed Balls?

Could this be a cunning new social media strategy from Labour’s home affairs team?

 

UiIiiiIOoiiOIyuyyUioiIiIIiiuuuUyTTtTtttttttttttttt

— Yvette Cooper (@YvetteCooperMP) May 2, 2013

 

Cassandra sxqqcsxsddz a

— stellacreasy (@stellacreasy) May 2, 2013

 

Well, no.

 

Oops! Handbag again.

— Yvette Cooper (@YvetteCooperMP) May 2, 2013

 

RT @stellacreasy: Cassandra sxqqcsxsddz a< this is of course election day secret code and in no way did I just sit on my phone. Honest. ;-)

— stellacreasy (@stellacreasy) May 2, 2013

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Thursday 2nd May 2013

The rise and fall of BoJo’s soufflé

One's puffed up and full of hot air, and the other's a soufflé. UKIP may be rising in the polls, but Boris Johnson reached new heights in the kitchen whipping up a soufflé during a visit to dessert company Gu Puds.

The Mayor of London today launched a £40m fund developed by the London Enterprise Panel designed to support small and medium sized businesses. Mr Johnson promoted the scheme with a visit to Gu’s development kitchen which, along with 90% of the company’s work force, is London-based.

With characteristic élan, Mr Johnson enthusiastically embraced the opportunity to turn his hand to a confection that is infamously difficult to make. Boris Johnson’s brother, Jo Johnson, was recently made head of the Downing Street’s Policy Unit. The move prompted the Mayor to joke that “there is finally a Johnson in Number 10”. The Johnson family is, however, notoriously competitive.

Jo Johnson better watch out: in politics, as in soufflés, you can’t make it without cracking a few eggs.

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Wednesday 1st May 2013

MP's house used as cannabis factory

The SDLP’s leader Alasdair McDonnell has had an interesting few days. Not only has a cannabis factory been found in his constituency, it is in a house he owns. The property was being rented out by an agency, who discovered scores of cannabis plants on an inspection of the house. "They came to me and within an hour we went to the police and asked the police to sort it out,” he told BBC Northern Ireland. "It's something you would rather didn't happen, but I have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is happening on a regular basis across our city. I'm annoyed, but we have to get over it."

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Wednesday 1st May 2013

Cable undergoes trial by mother

Vince Cable braved the wilds in one of the most potentially harrowing experiences in politics – a live web chat with the users of the online parenting network, Mumsnet.

The Business Secretary fielded a range of on-topic questions. He explained that he agreed with Boris Johnson’s opinion of Nigel Farage as an “engaging geezer” but that he lacked real policies, and followed Nick Clegg’s lead in saying said that he’d be willing to work with either the Conservatives or Labour after the next election.

The feeding frenzy intensified, however, and Mr Cable was subject to some amorous remarks:

“I just want to say you have an amazing voice in fact you give Mr Attenborough a run for his money! :) ”

He was also gently reminded of his seniority on several occasions, usually with the kindliest intentions:

“You would make a miles better PM than Nick or Ed or Dave. Why are we so ageist? What's wrong with a bit of gravitas?”

“Happy 70th birthday next week, Mr Cable!”

Nigel Farage was previously torn to shreds in a Mumsnet web chat when he proudly agreed with UKIP MEP Geoffrey Bloom's declaration that, “No self-respecting small businessman with a brain in the right place would ever employ a lady of child-bearing age".

Mr Cable, exercising rather more tact and charm, got away with his life.

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