How to catch – or avoid – the Speaker’s eye
Commons Chamber | Image by: DIGITEYES / Alamy Stock Photo
4 min read
Whether you want to catch – or avoid – the Speaker’s eye, learn to talk without notes or intervene successfully, deputy speaker Caroline Nokes gives new MPs some sage advice
It is best to start with the basics. There absolutely is a naughty corner (or to be precise, there are two of them). I would suggest they are to be avoided by the ambitious and those keen to catch the eye of Mr Speaker because, as I have recently discovered, you simply cannot be seen from the Chair there.
But every seat has its perks and if you are planning on being a serial heckler, it is perhaps a good location from which to commence your Strepsils-fuelled career. Better still, when the Chamber is crowded, standing in the gangway that runs up in front of the spads’ box absolutely guarantees you will not be seen. However, best not to have too distinctive a voice; it is not just our colleagues’ faces that we can recognise.
Sir Roger Gale, a former broadcaster, gives sage advice about where to sit. Make sure you can be seen easily from the Chair – I am going to describe that as at eyeline (effectively the back row) and about the midway point in the Chamber.
But be cautious: it is not just at school that the mischievous children migrate to the back and you might find yourself surrounded by ‘interesting’ company.
Another thing to look out for is where the microphones and cameras are. You don’t want your frankly brilliant social media clip to be ruined by a microphone cable dangling right across your face.
Apologies for the sexism, but female members are just easier to spot and more distinctive than their male colleagues. Perhaps for the men, suggesting a bright suit is a bit ‘out there’, but the late, great Gerald Kaufman had some amazing ones, and Rob Halfon had a particularly natty bright orange number which the Speaker was never going to miss! Colourful ties are always a good idea, although perhaps plump for variety and not the same one every single day (we all know who I am referring to). But ladies, remember, on Wednesdays we wear pink.
Today you do not have to be Churchill or Lloyd George – that can be tomorrow’s aspiration
Making an intervention can be daunting, especially your first. Hell, for a new minister, taking your first intervention can be pretty nerve-racking. Try to do it clearly. It is OK to persist if they say no the first time, but learn when to give up. I have watched colleagues ever more frantically waving at ministers who are clearly resolutely ignoring them.
It is OK to get to your feet, fine to lean forward, gesture that you have some earth-shattering revelation to add to the debate, but an impersonation of a Maneki Neko (the beckoning cat) is just not cool. I am sometimes reminded of Stevie Smith’s poem, Not Waving but Drowning. With a positive and obvious gesture to whoever it is you wish to intervene on, you will not drown.
The Chamber loves humour, clarity, and is not averse to brevity. Of course, you undoubtedly have a finely honed 30-minute contribution to make, but you will end up on a time limit (unless it’s Friday), so the art of hacking out entire sections at 30 seconds’ notice will be crucial to you. It doesn’t have to be long to be impactful (see the contributions of the much-missed Charles Walker to understand that).
Notes are fine, but I would argue that closely typed pages of A4 from which you are just going to read lines are not. Please check any of my early contributions in The House to note the rank hypocrisy in that statement. But you will learn, you will improve, and the day you trot into Westminster Hall having completely forgotten you had written to the Speaker asking to be called and have to speak on a subject you have done no preparation on whatsoever, you’ll suddenly realise you’re an awful lot better without your nose parked closely to a bit of paper.
But it is baby steps to begin with. Today, you do not have to be Winston Churchill or David Lloyd George – that can be tomorrow’s aspiration. Today, you just have to be you, because you will be brilliant, but please, for my sake, don’t go chopping and changing your seat, your appearance, or your favourite bright pink suit too often. I still have to learn some more faces and names.
Caroline Nokes is Conservative MP for Romsey and Southampton North and second deputy chairman of Ways and Means and deputy speaker
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