Before voting on assisted dying, watch this film featuring my son Daniel
Dan Monks | Image courtesy of Lord Monks
4 min read
I urge my fellow parliamentarians to think through what the current law means for the many people we know who are suffering horribly
My son Daniel died earlier this year after reaching the conclusion that his only option was to starve himself to death despite the fact that in his last weeks he was the recipient of the kindest, best-of-practice palliative care possible. Daniel was diagnosed in his mid-20s, in the early 2000s, with multiple sclerosis (MS) and over the years he progressed from leading a full and vibrant life as a teacher and musician until he was, by the end of last year, a shell of his former self. He did his best to keep his spirits up but by January of this year – when he could no longer feed himself, operate his motorised wheelchair, make music with his specially adapted computer, or do anything at all for himself – he calmly and rationally concluded that he did not want to live any longer. In addition to MS, he had Crohn’s disease and needed a catheter and stoma. Apart from his brain and speech, nothing else was working.
During last year Daniel and my wife Frankie and I agreed to take part in a film being made for ITV whose director – Oscar, Bafta and Emmy award-winner Jon Blair – promised to approach the subject of assisted dying with an open mind, giving a chance to opponents to express their understandable reservations, along with those, like Daniel, who had their own stories to tell of why they wanted the law to change.
As a family we are certain that Daniel should not have had to suffer a brutal death
I am now urging MPs and peers to make the time to watch this deeply thought-provoking film before you make up your own mind on how to vote on Kim Leadbeater’s forthcoming private member’s bill on assisted dying. We all know that this is not a black-and-white issue. But while acknowledging the fears about what might happen if the law is changed – many of which, incidentally, are not necessarily borne out in jurisdictions with a long history of legalised assisted dying with adequate safeguards protecting not only the elderly, disabled people or those who are vulnerable, but also the entire palliative care system – I urge you also to think through what the current law means for the many people we know are suffering horribly now, along with the families supporting them through their final pathway.
As a family we are certain that Daniel should not have had to suffer the brutal death through starvation for which he felt he had been left no option. The best palliative care system in the world could not have alleviated the suffering he and us – in witnessing and supporting him in those final days – endured. If he had been allowed to end things peacefully at a time of his choosing, near an end that was coming anyway, Daniel could have been allowed to go gentle into that good night without fearing the implications for his family or members of the medical or palliative care community if they had helped him in any way.
As a further testimony to the strength of the film we took part in, it was the winner of the Sandford St Martin Award as well as being nominated for a Royal Television Society Award and Bafta. The Telegraph called it “a superb documentary” that “offers a nuanced view of both sides”.
Even if you already have a clear and firm opinion on this subject in either direction, I am sure that if you make the time to watch it you will have a clearer picture of what your choice on the vote will mean in the future, both for those who fear any change in the law, and for other families like ours.
Lord Monks of Blackley is a Labour peer
A Time to Die is available on ITVX or at on Vimeo without commercial breaks.
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